It's always Pepper
by BBCRules95
Summary: That's my take on the scene in IM3 where Tony is having a nightmare. Tony freaks out, does something stupid and Pepper needs to be there to help him sort it out.If you haven't seen the movie yet, mild SPOILERS ahead. Angsty, fluffy and full of good old Pepperony. I suck at summaries, but give it a go! A NEW, SLIGHTLY RANDOM CHAPTER IS UP, SO DO CHECK IT OUT!
1. Chapter 1

**I've seen IM3 three times already. I thought awesomeness was not a tangible concept, but I am pretty sure that any copy of this film is empirical evidence that awesomeness does exist physically. :DDD**

**This is something that's been in my head since I saw the film for the first time, but I have had no time to write whatsoever.**

**Speaking of which, my other stories will get finished when I'm done with my exams, life and stuff. (Ok, the life bit sounded as if I'm suicidal :P Don't worry, I'm not. )**

**I hope you enjoy. Off we go…**

XXXXXXX

Pepper awoke, as Tony stirred suddenly next to her. She tried to fall sleep again immediately, but the peaceful silence of their bedroom was interrupted by Tony's incoherent mumble. She turned around to find him curled up on the bed with his eyes tightly shut, desperately clutching a pillow to his chest.

'Tony…' she shook his shoulder delicately, trying to wake him and stop whatever horror he was going through in his dream. The only response she got was another tug at the maltreated pillow and a heart wrenching whimper.

'Tony,' this time Pepper's voice was firmer and louder. In vain, as another pitiful sob escaped his mouth.

'Ton…' She didn't know what happened then and how it happened , but seconds later her wrists were pinned to the bed by Tony's latest creation, Mark…Mark what? She already lost count. She felt the anger and the fear building up inside her, as the glowing eyes of the suit were locked on her face threateningly .The fact that Tony finally managed to wake up was poor consolation.

'Power down!' he shouted, standing up immediately, surprise and fear painted all over his sweat-covered face. As soon as the armour stopped moving and the glow at the centre of its chest plate faded, the mechanic took a step forward and landed a punch on the armour. As the lights came on, the parts of the suit flew all over the bedroom, sprawling on the floor in an unordered heap.

'I must have called it in my sleep….This is…not supposed to happen, although…I'll re-calibrate the sensors…' _Breathe in, breathe out. Easy. Think about the damn sensors. Distract yourself_. 'Can we just…Just let me catch my breath, don't go. Alright?' Tony pleaded with her, in vain. She was already next to the door. Just one more step, and she would be away from it all. From the suits, from wormholes, from the _distractions_.

'I'm gonna sleep downstairs. Tinker with that.' Pepper had to try her best not to break down in front of him. He already had enough problems on his head, not to mention that she would hate him to see her as weak. She didn't want to leave it, didn't want to leave _him. _She knew that this was the best way to solve the problem however. At least for now.

As Tony leaned against the headboard on her side of the bed, she was already gone.

The bed was still warm, he could still smell her, feel her presence there. He needed a paper bag now. Badly. _Breathe in, breathe out. Come on you can do thermo-nuclear astrophysics, you should be fine with breathing._ _Come on. That's not what she wants. That's what put her in danger. Calm down. For Pepper. _

The moment he spelled her name out in his head he reached a breaking point. A boundary he didn't even know existed. He could swear that his lungs had just been torn to shreds. The wormhole was always there, in his head, but so was Pepper, constantly giving him the motivation to come back in one piece. Now she was gone. _Pepper left him, when he needed her most_.

That was enough. He wouldn't have any of it. Ever again. Never. As he pulled the drenched black top over his head, one of his hands found the arc reactor's socket and unplugged the device.

XXXXXXX

Pepper could swear that she was going to explode. She never felt so angry in her entire life, and angry was something that you had to be around Tony Stark all the time. She lied down on the bed in one of the guest bedroom, unsure what to think about what had just happened. She ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. She found herself struggling not to hyperventilate. The room was so familiar, she had slept there before on many occasions as Tony's assistant, but this whole situation was completely alien to her. As hard as she tried, she couldn't get Tony's terrified pleas out of her head and the feeling of sheer helplessness, as she had struggled to wake him. Her heart was screaming at her to go back up, give him a hug and tell him that it would be all right. Her head told her to stay where she was and maybe try to have a serious conversation with him in the morning. This madness had to stop, and being tough was the best…the _only_ way to sort it out. Speaking of the morning, she would also have to call her mum as soon as she woke up. She reached for the bedside table, searching for her phone to set an alarm, when she realised that she had left it in the bedroom upstairs. Going back now would not look very assertive, but anger of Mrs. Potts was not a risk that Pepper was prepared to take.

XXXXXXX

When Pepper entered the bedroom, she found that the lights were out again. A part of her felt relief, realising that Tony must have simply got back to sleep. The other part of her was disappointed, thinking that this shows how little she really meant to him. She tried to tiptoe to the bedside table to pick up her phone without waking Tony, but her efforts failed halfway through the room, as she tripped on something and almost fell down. She was expecting to find a piece of the armour, but to her surprise, she picked up Tony's crumpled black shirt he was wearing only minutes ago. Tony _never_ left his clothes on the floor.

'Hey Pep,' her inner debate was interrupted by a whisper coming from the dark. So Tony wasn't asleep after all. She decided to ignore him for now and carry on searching for her phone. As her hand reached towards the bedside table, something fell to the floor with a soft clank. The carpet was suddenly lit by a wave of warm blue glow. Pepper bent down immediately to pick up the device.

'T-tony? What are you…?' The arc reactor was on the floor, which meant that it was not implanted in Tony's chest. Which meant that _Tony had taken it out. _

'I'm chillin'. Thinking. ' The lights were still out, but Pepper knew that Tony was far from 'chillin'. Although it was dark, Pepper refused to look up at him, knowing how alien he would look without the reassuring blue glow radiating from his chest.

'Put it back in. Put it back in. Tony, please put it back in.' She stood next to the bed, waiting for him to obey. She was close to tears now, not knowing why he would even think of doing it to himself.

'If you insist. It can be out for a short while anyway. Not that I and you…well, in fact not that _anyone_ cares,' he mumbled. Although the arc reactor was already back in its proper place, Tony's breathing became even more ragged and quick again. Pepper asked JARVIS to turn the lights up to 10% and finally found the courage to look at Tony.

His hand was still pressed against the electromagnet, and he was leaning against the headboard with his eyes closed, struggling to catch a breath. Even in the dim light Pepper could see streaks of tears on his cheeks.

'Why did you do it?' No reply came. He was just staring ahead blankly, not moving. 'I'm sorry I shouldn't have reacted like this'. It seemed that apologies was not what he needed now, since he remained unmoved. Having realised that words might not be enough this time, Pepper sat down on the edge of the bed, and delicately stroked Tony's cheek with the palm of her hand. 'Do you want to tell me what just happened?' He shook his head energetically in reply.

'Can't….can't breathe…'

'JARVIS? Is it the reactor?' Pepper asked worriedly.

'No Miss Potts, the arc reactor and other bodily functions of Mr. Stark appear to be working perfectly fine.'

'Ok Tony, just try to take it slowly. Here, let's do it together, shall we?' Unsure of how he would react, Pepper pulled him into an embrace, placing his head in the crook of her neck and lovingly running her hand through his drenched hair. Her other arm focused on securing his upright position, as Tony himself wasn't able to do it himself. Pepper would never understand what it felt like to have shrapnel embedded in your heart, but she knew what it felt like to have it broken into a million pieces. The almighty, cheeky Iron Man was now reduced to a heap of tears and tremors. It hurt Pepper to watch the greatest mind in America, being unable to determine when and where he was.

'Ssssshhhh…it's okay. You're in your bed in Malibu, I'm here and you're absolutely fine Tony. It's all right, I'm not going anywhere. You're safe. I promise,' she whispered, rocking back and forth with Tony in her arms.

A few minutes later Tony was breathing relatively normally again. He still refused to let go of Pepper however, and clung on to her as if his life depended on it. She tried to shift to make them both more comfortable, but it only caused Tony to lash out with his arm and draw her closer to himself.

'm sorry…' he mumbled. 'I'm sorry, don't leave. Please. Wait.'

Tony Stark used the words 'sorry' and 'please' in one sentence. Wow. This only made Pepper even more worried.

'I told you I'm not leaving. Are you feeling any better? What happened? Do you want to talk? Was it New York again?'

She regretted saying it, the moment the words escaped her lips. To her relief he was still breathing, only that seconds later he was clinging on to her for dear life, woefully trying to stop the sobs escaping his lips.

'I don't want to…What if…I'm not mental Pepper, ok? I'm not…I'm sorry…'

'Hey, hey, hey. Don't apologise, let it out. You'll feel better.' Probably for the first time in his life Tony Stark actually did. He saw the wormhole again, he was falling and the suit lost power and he was going to crash and _oh my dearest God, Pepper hadn't picked up his call_. But why was he crying? Crying? No, at this point he was sobbing so badly into the crook of Pepper's arm, that he could swear he would end up choking on his own tears and drowning. Dear Lord, _he was still falling and falling quick and he couldn't breathe, the suit lost power, his heart was about to be torn apart by the damn shrapnel. Pepper do something, please…_

He didn't know how, but the next time he could remember his name again, he was lying on his back and Pepper was…where was Pepper? Has she left him again? What did he do this time?

'Pep…Pepper! Where are you?' The last two words came out as a quiet, high-pitched whimper. Tony lifted himself up onto his elbows and looked around the room. The Mark 42 still lay scattered all over the floor, but Pepper was nowhere to be seen.

_Breathe. Just breathe, you idiot. She'll come back._

Tony couldn't help frantically scanning the room for his girlfriend. He could feel it coming, he knew he would end up panicking and suffocating again. The last time Pepper wasn't there, didn't pick up his call, he almost died. He didn't really want to die. He just wanted the pain and the fear to go away. Finally, he noticed that a shadow was reflected on the floor, as light was on in the bathroom, meaning that Pepper was probably there.

His deductions turned out to be correct and seconds later the light was turned off and Pepper emerged from the room, holding a wet towel in her hands.

'JARVIS said you haven't slept for three days.' Pepper's comment was not graced with a reply. Instead, Tony focused really hard on the painting hanging on the wall opposite the bed. He was avoiding Pepper's gaze with all his willpower. 'Shall we put you to bed then?'

Oh, so she wasn't reprimanding him after all. He refused to comply nevertheless and shook his head. Pepper sat next to him and started dabbing his face and collarbone with the wet piece of cloth. Tony never imagined that something so simple could feel so good. He leaned needily into her touch and whispered a quiet 'thank you'. When he opened his eyes, she was looking down at him, worry and sadness painted all over her face.

'Thank you Pep,' he murmured louder.

'Try to sleep, I'm right here.' In reply Tony looked up at her, with a pleading look in his eyes, reflecting how much he hated the idea. 'I know you're scared, but you can't just change your batteries and carry on. You need to rest.

Instead of attempting to fall asleep, he shifted towards her and tried to delicately pull her down to lay next to him. He was in no position to fight exhaustion however, and his gesture only added strength to Pepper's argument.

'Oh, you are the most stubborn, annoying, immature…'she intended for the remark to sound playful and teasing to relax him a bit, instead the expression on his face hardened again and she could swear that she saw his lip tremble.

'Is that why you didn't pick up? If so, you're free to go, you deserve better. Yeah.' He turned around to lay on his side and squeezed his eyes shut. Every time he did, he saw the HUD flicker and lose power, he saw CALL FAILED below the photo of Pepper smiling and then he saw no more.

' I haven't finished Tony. And you are the sweetest, smartest and most loveable guy I know. And that's why it's impossible to find any better.'

'Y-ou s-still haven't answered my q-question.' _Just stop. Not again. I've had enough for tonight. Please. Breathe. _He tried to calm down. He tried so hard, but even when he lifted his eyelids all he could see was CALL FAILED.

Pepper tugged at his shoulder. He flinched involuntarily. What was happening to him? Why now?

'I didn't answer because I was too busy watching you trying to kill yourself on the TV and since then I never even put my phone on silent and if you think that this is easy for me Anthony Edward Stark then you couldn't be more wrong and how on Earth could you even think that I could just leave you like this when something is going wrong, to let you drink yourself to death or take out the arc reactor, so that I can come here in the morning just to find you dead and…'

'Pepper. Breathe. I see. Um...sorry. I mean…well, thank you and…I don't know what to say.' He was sitting up again, his hands resting on her shoulders, trying to get her to look him in the eyes. 'I'm sorry I freaked out. I'm sorry. I won't do anything stupid again. I promise. _We_ can deal with this, right? No need to go all emo.'

'Yeah, _we_'ll figure something out.'

'I love you Pepper Potts.' Tony was sick of words. Words complicated things and relationships. And actions speak so much louder. He got on his knees and kissed her gently on the cheek, waiting to see how she would reply. Silence that had descended upon the room was about to be broken by the very impatient and agitated Tony Stark, but before he managed to say a word, his mouth was too busy exploring that of Miss Potts to do anything else. He wanted the moment to last forever. Everything aside from Pepper was gone, no gods, no aliens. Just him and Pepper.

'I love you too Tony. Which is not to say that I will let you work until you knock yourself out. Bed. Now.'

She found a clean shirt in one of the drawers and helped him pull it over his head, since he was still trembling, although it seemed that they have already been through the worst part of the night.

Tony was praying that Pepper wouldn't eventually go back downstairs. That was one thing he wouldn't be able to bear. She sensed his anxiety, not intending to go leave anyway. Seconds later they were both curled up next to each other with the lights turned off. Pepper couldn't help stroking his hair soothingly and whispering comforting words into his ear. Tony could only hope that she would never stop and with that in mind finally drifted off.

XXXXXXX

_Not again, not again, not. Please NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

_He let go of the nuke. As the spaceship exploded above his head, the suit lost power. He started falling at enormous speed. The portal was about to close. He wasn't going to make it. He would die here and now. And he never even told Pepper that…_

_He actually made it through the portal, but what was the use of that? He was still going to smash into a skyscraper of the ground and turn into a puddle of blood mixed with bits of metal that the suit was about to turn into. He was wondering what would kill him first: the arc reactor, the impact with the ground or whether he'd get cut to pieces by shreds of the very armour he created to protect himself and others. _

_Seconds. He had only seconds left. _

_And then someone caught him. But it wasn't the Hulk as it had happened before in his nightmares. Those hands were soft, delicate, caring. He wasn't chucked to the ground by the green beast, but held closely to somebody's warm body. Who could it possibly be? Who would even be bothered about him? Even Captain America, the great damn caring hero gave up on him._

'_I'm here Tony. I got you. It's alright,' the person who caught him whispered. Tony knew that voice. _

It was Pepper. It was always Pepper.

XXXXXXX

**Ok, that's it.**

**I don't know where it came from. I don't know where it went. I think it got lost somewhere on the way, because I am not overly happy with it. **

**Let me know whether you liked it or no through REVIEWS. Constructive criticism is always more than welcome. If you have liked it, I might write a sequel or something. **

**Cherrio! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Good news, I actually found the time to write something. **

**Bad news, I'm suffering from a Tony-Stark-let's-not-sleep-because-we're-having-is sues syndrome, which means that I completed this having woken up at 2 in the morning, being unable to sleep. **

**All the spelling 'mistakes' are likely a result of Britishness, not stupidity. If they result from stupidity, feel free to point them out to me!**

**THANK YOU to all those who favourited, followed and especially reviewed :D**

**Without any further waffling …Enjoy!**

_What the hell just happened? Rhodey? Don't leave me buddy… Jimmy? Anyone? _

_Tony Stark awoke to a feeling of sharp pain in the middle of his chest. It took him a moment to locate himself in time and space. Everything was just a haze of black spots making seeing impossible, agony radiating from his heart all the way down, and confusion. He tried to move, to escape. He couldn't move, someone was holding him down._

_And then he remembered. He remembered the Humvee exploding, the young soldiers who died and he remembered the shock and pain of almost being killed by one of his own missiles. Suddenly somebody started talking quickly above his head in a language he could not recognize. Everything hurt, he was terrified, he needed to get away…but he couldn't move, they wouldn't let him and then…they would just torture him some more. He couldn't stand it. He was Tony Stark. The most he could deal with was mild headache after he had too many shots at a party. Not like this. Not real pain, not blinding agony. Not a dozen knives trying to cut him in half while he's alive. Not…no, no, no…_

'_Nooooooo! Please stooooooooop it! I'll pay you, stop, just stop!' he couldn't shake them off using force, so maybe money would work? It didn't. _

'_Pleaaaaaaaaase!'_

Rhodey insisted that Pepper should sleep. He himself promised to stay up until Tony woke up. The events of the last two weeks made him realize that he should have been there more often for his friend. Not for Tony Stark, the War Machine the Iron Patriot designer, but his _best friend_. He hated himself for always being there only when things got broken and someone had to pick up the pieces.

Pepper would never listen to him however. She was the last thing he saw before they put him under, she should be the first thing he sees when he wakes up. It felt good to know that he was finally safe, well…as safe as one can be after an open-heart surgery, and having the shrapnel removed from his heart. Pepper hated the colour of the walls and the constant beeping of the machines next to Tony's bed, but she adored the sight of him sleeping peacefully for the first time since…how long has it been?

She almost nodded off herself, knowing that if something were to happen there was Rhodey and others at hand. Pepper allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment, while still remaining upright in the plastic chair next to Tony's bed, when he suddenly stirred. Her adrenaline jumped, as she was hoping to see him open his eyes in a second and greet her with a snarky comment. Nothing of this sort happened however.

Instead, he tried to lift his right hand, evidently trying to drag it towards where the arc reactor used to be only hours ago. Pepper concluded that the anesthetic must have started to wear off. He was still too weak to reach his chest, and that made him panic even more.

'S-st-top…' he whimpered quietly, trying to curl in on himself. His hand was still in mid-air, and Pepper used the opportunity to hold it and comfort him a bit.

'Tony. Tony it's ok. I'm here. Can you wake up? Does anything hurt?' she was stroking the back of his hand with her thumb while talking to him soothingly, having realized that he would not be replying her questions any time soon.

Suddenly his whole body tensed, his back arched up and he sobbed, trying to take his hand away from Pepper. She held on however, fearing that if he continues like this he'll do more damage to himself. She kissed the back of his hand softly, still holding it in hers. It would be all right, it had to be.

'Rhodey? Rhodey? Go and get Dr. Wu, would you?' He had fallen asleep in an armchair next to the window, and looked quite embarrassed knowing that Pepper noticed his little nap. He rushed out of the room, having glanced at Tony tossing and turning in the hospital bed, not liking a bit of what he was seeing.

'_Jericho! Jericho!' _

_Why couldn't they just leave him alone? He had told them that he wouldn't build any missiles! Apparently they couldn't. Instead, they decided to shove his head into the basin filled with dirty water again. He was going to die in that cave. He suspected they were no geniuses, but trying to drown a guy hooked up to a battery and hoping that he would survive long enough to build them anything seemed particularly stupid to him. _

_He usually had time to ponder over people's stupidity. Even when he had his head shoved down toilets at MIT he could still get up, hold his head high and laugh at those idiots who were nowhere near as smart as him, even though they tried soooo hard. _

_Now the only thing he could focus on was the stinging pain in his chest. Electricity and water – historically, not awesome. Lungs filled with water were rather not awesome as well. He wasn't sure which one he should be more worried about. The more he attempted to struggle to get up, the deeper down they pushed him. It wasn't fair. He'd already suffered enough. They should stop it was so unfair…so unfair…s-so u-unfair…so…damn painful and…then just black. _

They had put an oxygen mask over his face, but Pepper could swear that he was still struggling to breathe. She was beyond terrified. For the last minute or so, Tony was desperately trying to get up, to move…She wasn't sure what exactly he was trying to achieve, but if he carried on like that, he was surely going to rip his stitches and get into an awful lot of trouble. And where was that doctor?

_He was drowning. He knew he would never be able to take a bath ever again. He'd be condemned to taking showers for eternity…how boring. _

_More importantly, he was about to die. He felt as if the battery was going to burn right through him. He knew he was seen by many as heartless, but if they carried on like this, this metaphor was going to become a physical, painful reality. His lungs were being torn apart. He could swear, the was going to be a loud 'boom' and that would be it, the end of him. Having survived the shrapnel and open-heart surgery without anesthetic, he concluded that it would be rather annoying to die, as a result of being tortured by a bunch of idiots, wearing rags in the middle of a desert. _

_But God, the pain was becoming unbearable. He decided to beg for mercy the next time they let his head out the basin. He tries to plead with them, but instead ends up crying for Yinsen. The battery, he needed to do something about the battery. It was burning and Yinsen already saved him once. Why has everyone left him?_

'Tony, calm down please. You'll hurt yourself. Can you do that for me? Please. Just stop. You're safe, we're all safe.' All she wished for was to be able to pull him into an embrace, kiss him, give him _any_ comfort she could. In his current predicament however, doing either of this would not be the greatest idea.

'Y-yinsen..y-y-argh…'

'Tony, Tony. Stop it. You're scaring me. You're ok.' She brought his hand up to her face again and started rubbing her thumb over his knuckles, still slightly bruised after their encounter with Killian. Nothing, he was still panicking. Stroking his hair and _begging_ him to calm down seemed to have no results either.

_His torturers would rather hear 'Jericho' instead of his pitiful whines for his fellow prisoner, and they decided that pushing him under the water again would be a good means of persuasion. _

_They were so wrong. That was it. They killed him, he decided. He was going to count to three and that was it. He would be gone. He would close his eyes. Never open them again. Never suffer again. _

'_Tony!' He knew that voice. He liked that voice. He trusted that voice. So he couldn't let himself die now, that it was calling him. Whose voice was it? He needed a few seconds to think. _

_Pepper. Oh yes, Pepper. His Pepper. He was no gentleman, but this time he couldn't leave the lady waiting. _

Doctor Wu came into the room followed closely by Rhodey. He was about to inject Tony with more pain meds to knock him out cold, when the genius suddenly calmed down completely. The only thing he did was to squeeze Pepper's hand harder and lean into her delicate hand, still patiently stroking his messy black hair.

'Tony!'

He lifted his eyelids slowly. Everything was blindingly white, but…it was nice, soft and certainly not wet. Even the burning in his chest wasn't so bad. At least he felt like there was no longer a risk of having a hole burnt right through the center of him.

But most importantly. Someone was holding his hand and looking at him worriedly. He wondered for a moment whether he was still dreaming, because as far as he was concerned, there were no red-haired angels on Earth.

The moment she smiled at him and tears of joy glistened in her eyes, he knew.

Pepper saved him again. It was always Pepper who saved him.

**Ok, done. Back to bed. Let me know what you guys think. I don't know…it just popped into my head and I thought I might jot it down, since I'm up anyway. **

**I'm not sure whether it makes sense at all and I'm not even sure whether I shouldn't have published it as a separate story, but anyway…**

**PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think. Constructive criticism and reviews always make my day brighter, and that's exactly what I need now, not least because I live in London and it's never sunny here **


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, so I know that there are other stories I should be writing, but this popped into my head and I needed to put it down. **

**Also, I know that the chronology completely doesn't stick with that of the other two chapters, but I needed to put it somewhere and I didn't feel like starting a new story just for a one-shot.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

'_Tony, sweetheart. You look …handsome, like your father when he was younger.' Tony winced at the comparison, but ended up grinning anyway moments later, when his mother drew him into an embrace . He kissed her gently on the cheek as she was pulling back and offered her his arm, as they were walking down the stairs leading from his bedroom down to the richly decorated living room. Tables were already set up in preparation for the upcoming event and Maria's favourite song was playing somewhere in the background. Tony could never quite decipher how his father managed to hide all his gadgets, including the mysterious speakers, around the house. Still holding his mother's hand, Tony led her deeper into the room, until they reached its very centre, with space designated for guests to dance. He was only seventeen, but already much taller than his mother, and without thinking about it twice, he bent down slightly to lean his chin on her shoulder, as they moved gracefully in front of the fireplace, enjoying the rare moment they got to be mother and son, not Maria and Anthony Stark. _

'_I'm so proud of you Tony. And I…I love you so much honey,' she whispered in his ear, knowing he needed the reassurance more than anything, with a father like Howard. The boy smiled, unable to gather his thoughts for a moment. He was about to reply, to tell her mother that he loved her too, that he was so happy to be there with her, without the cameras flashing, without his father reprimanding him, when he felt something hit his side and…_

Tony's eyes snapped open, and as Pepper was curled up against his side, he realised she must have hit him accidentally when she was moving. He wasn't quite sure what he was feeling at the moment, but it certainly wasn't this overwhelming joy that always made him feel high whenever he saw Pepper. It was different…unfamiliar, something akin to sadness, but maybe even verging on resentment and he hated it. He hated himself for feeling it and…he hated Pepper for waking him up. For taking this precious moment away from him.

He hated himself even more when he turned over without paying any attention to his red-haired angel, and buried his face in the pillow, on his side of the bed. He thought that the pillow must hate him too, because not only was he soaking it with tears, but he was also squeezing it so hard, he would bet that it was about to be torn in half. He didn't even know why he was crying. He was no longer a child, and the last time, the _only _time he grieved for his parents was twenty years ago, at their funeral. Why would the memories come to haunt him now, when he finally managed to find some relative peace?

He was so absorbed in his philosophical debate with himself, that he didn't realise that a sob was coming his way, until the moment he shook with the force of it, and Pepper stirred next to him. _Please, don't wake up. Please, don't wake up. Please, don't…_

'Tony?' Pepper's sleepy voice broke the silence that descended upon the room as soon as Tony realised what had just happened.

_Shit_. He tried to pretend that he was asleep, to avoid the trouble to Pepper and himself, but she knew better. She always did. Seconds later Pep was pulling at his shoulder, trying to turn him over onto his back, so that she could look down at his face, look sad herself and worry about him. And so that he could snap at her, make her cry and then beat himself up about it. _Shit_.

Eventually he gave in, because the next thing he would have to do to fend her off, would probably be attacking her, which would definitely have even nastier consequences. He dropped his gaze as soon as Pepper's eyes met his, knowing that in the dim moonlight she could still see the tears on his cheeks. She had to be getting used to it by now, he mused to himself. _Stark, put yourself together. You're pathetic._

'What was the dream about?' Pepper asked immediately already familiar with the routine of Tony waking up either screaming or crying his soul out.

'My mother.'

'Was it a bad dream?'

'No.'

'Then why are you crying?'

He paused before replying.

'Because I woke up,' he spat out finally, barely preventing himself from saying '_because you woke me up'_.

Pepper didn't say anything to this. She knew how bad Tony felt about his own vulnerability; he still hasn't realised that as clever and charming as he was, he was still only a mere human being. So she waited for a couple of minutes for him to fall back asleep. She waited for half an hour. She waited for forty five minutes. After an hour, Tony abruptly got up and was headed for the stairs leading down into the living room. Pepper followed him, hoping that he wasn't intending to lock himself down in his workshop again and caught up with him halfway through the undecorated staircase.

'Tony, come here,' she whispered, not wanting to startle him. Surprisingly, he obeyed and drew her in for an embrace, entangling her arm with his, but still coaxing her do go down into the living room. He slumped down on the sofa with a sigh and pulled Pepper into his lap. His eyes were still glassy with tears, and he was breathing faster than he should be, under normal circumstances. Pepper thought hard about what to do. She didn't want to corner him like a scared, but still proud animal, with meaningless words of comfort and gentle touches, but she knew that unless she did something to calm him quickly, they would both lose it and all hell would break lose.

'JARVIS, put on some nice music, would you? Maybe what you played to us last night?' Pepper said a bit louder, hoping that the AI would respond to her request. Seconds later, the room was engulfed by quiet, but soothing sounds, and Pepper nuzzled closer to Tony, who responded by tightening his grip on her. 'Believe it or not, but when I was little, I thought I would be a dancer. So whenever I was sad or scared, my dad would dance with me,' she whispered into Tony's ear, helping him to stand up from the sofa. She guided one of his hands to her waist and put hers delicately on his shoulder, smiling at the confused look on his face. She then caught his other hand in hers, pulled him close. 'He was a terrible dancer though, so I always needed to show him what to do, just like this,' she continued, caressing Tony's shoulder gently with her hand. She guided him confidently through all the steps, listening to the music intently and imagining how stupid they must look, dancing around the living room in their pyjamas.

They both remembered _that night_, when they danced at the charity event. Pepper's cheeks turned crimson when she thought about the backless dress and Tony stiffened a bit when he realised that the romantic moment was broken when he fled, leaving her outside on her own. Pepper felt him tense, and lovingly brushed her hand against Tony's cheek in encouragement. Minutes later the song had changed, but they were still pressed close to each other on the improvised dance floor, and Tony's head was blessedly resting on Pepper's shoulder. She never suspected that a simple dance could do such miracles and relax him so much.

'Pep,' he whispered hoarsely, finally being able to speak without the risk of choking on his own tears. 'I'm sorry, I'm being pathetic…'

She didn't move, but instinctively pulled him closer into the embrace and bent her head down to speak in his ear.

'Don't be silly Tony. I'm proud of you Tony, and I love you so, so much.'

The scientist felt his heart speed up and moisture return to his eyes; for a moment he felt as if he was back in New York, with his beloved mother. But then he knew that it was Pepper who was holding him close, and his heart sped up even more, because Pepper was alive, because Pepper wasn't scared of Howard and because he knew that Pepper would _never_ leave him. Never. He wouldn't make a mistake this time, and he would _never_ let her go.

The redhead felt her shoulder getting slightly wet again, and pulled Tony away from her, holding him at shoulder's length, and examining his face closely at the same time.

'I love you too Pepperpot. And I'm so happy that you're here and…did I say that I love you more than I love life itself. And more than coffee and Erwin Schrödinger* combined? That tells you a lot.' Before she knew it, his lips were on hers, searching for a more pronounced confirmation of the words just spoken. Not that she didn't see fit to give it to him. Neither of them knew when it happened, but suddenly they were cuddling on the sofa, still exploring each other's mouths and continuously whispering silent 'I love you's just to prove to each other that it was all real.

When Tony finally drew back, feeling the fatigue take over his body, he gave Pepper one of his trademark grins. He didn't care anymore, but he thought that he still had traces of tears on his cheeks, and with all the things going on in his head at once, he must have looked pretty thoughtful.

'Tony, what's the matter now?' Pepper asked in confusion, unable to reconcile the grin with the heart-wrenching tears. He buried his face in her shoulder, letting out a content sigh.

'I'm just so very happy, Pep. Because I'm awake. And you're alive.'

Pepper disagreed with one thing: she hated the fact that Tony was awake and wearing himself out again. She was glad he was happy, of course. But for tonight she had already heard enough; the fact that Tony loved anything more than coffee, that _he loved her_ more than coffee was more than she could ever have expected from him.

Tony fell asleep as Pepper was gently playing with his dark locks. His mother was still in his head, but the memory would never again result in tears. Because he knew that even though she was gone, there was always someone to hold him. Because there was always someone to laugh at his jokes. Because he knew that there was someone to protect him from his nightmares.

Because no matter what happens in Tony's Stark's life, there's always Pepper.

***It's Schrodinger's birthday today, and since I'm a geek, I thought I could maybe celebrate with Tony :P**

**There. Cheesy, fluffy and out-of-character, but I did it and for once have no regrets **** (well, maybe aside from the fact that I haven't proof-read it).**

**I hope you like it. If you did, please REVIEW. **

**If you didn't, give me some constructive criticism as well, please. I'll take whatever you throw at me. **


End file.
